These Comedians Have Hilarious Views on Religion

Trying to make sense of the world can be difficult. When in need of help, who do you seek? Do we turn to a Doctor, a professor, a philosopher, a friend, a parent, a priest or a shaman? Sometimes, only a comedian can help us understand the inexplicable. That's why we are celebrating 5 great comedians whose views on the world's most controversial topic, religion, will knock you off your feet. Enjoy and don't forget to laugh!


1. George Carlin

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"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! "
 
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that god was having trouble with. For years I asked god to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit."

2. Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

3.  Louis C.K.

"I don’t think… Personally, I don’t think there’s a Heaven. I think maybe there’s a God, but there’s no Heaven. I think that’s the best news you’re gonna get. You die, and you’re like, “Hey God!” And he’s like, “Yep?” And you’re like, “Where’s Heaven?” And he’s like, “I don’t know who’s telling people that! I’m supposed to make a universe and then another whole amazing place for afterwards?! You guys are greedy dicks down there!” “Well, where do I go?” “Just stand in this room with me now.” “I don’t like it.” “Tell me about it! I’ve been here since 1983.” 

4. Woody Allen

 
"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

5. Ricky Gervais

"If you want to deny something don't choose Evolution or the Holocaust. You'll look silly. Way too much evidence. Choose God or Homeopathy."